Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? Why don’t you?”

A few, obviously bored stiff from their minds, stare intently at their smart phones in a Seoul restaurant. The tiny talk, when there is any, is painful to eavesdrop on. Despite their matching clothing, ubiquitous few bands, and obligatory selfies together, they appear to have small in typical. So just why the regularity of these awkward pairings in the coffee stores of Seoul?

“You don’t have gf? Why not?” is most likely the absolute most common concern solitary males have expected in Southern Korea. Dating is really an endeavour that is fairly straightforward there isn’t any explanation to not ever take action, as my South Korean housemate constantly reminds me personally. Dating Г  la corГ©enne happens to be paid off to checking items off an inventory, carrying out a textbook of do’s and don’ts. We offer you the lowdown:

The Introduction

The simplest way to generally meet ladies is through your buddy: he’ll familiarizes you with somebody he knows and put up a sogaeting — a pre-arranged date. Instead, you should use a sogaeting application. When both you and your possible gf have actually agreed on a romantic date, make sure to dress to wow. Then head to Gangnam. Italian restaurants or VIPS would be the fare that is standard times. If you’re unsure on how to speak to your date, don’t worry and just prepare some topics ahead of time: web sites with guides and video lessons abound.

The Meetup

Whom foots the balance? Why you, needless to say. Her duties are limited by spending money on after-dinner coffee, but as long as the date goes well and also you go to Round Two. Also my gallant housemate admits to hating the obligatory dinner purchase but seems he “has no choice”. The‘after-message’ to confirm interest is vital after the date ends and you have arrived back home. See right right here for well-documented effective techniques. But don’t forget that timing is vital and that the message should really be delivered within half an hour to an hour or so following the end regarding the date to make certain optimal success!

The Confession

Now if things are getting efficiently and also you have an interest in her own, make sure to formalise the offer by having a love ‘confession’. It doesn’t matter how long you have got invested together, not to mention that which you have done together, things aren’t settled and soon you occur rock the both of you are ‘official’. Tell her “i love youu bluntly” or ask, “Do you want to get constant?” If she hesitates to resolve, merely return to “The Introduction” part of the article and start around again. Until your confession of real love is accepted by some body, it really is permissible to see multiple girl at any given time. It really is referred to as eojang gwalli — ‘managing your seafood stock’.

But you have just entered into a relationship and it’s time to get serious if she accepts your heartfelt plea.


Success! You now have gf, a marker of or both. But this isn’t the finish. It’s now time and energy to purchase matching shoes, few bands, exchange hourly texts, work with a ‘selfie-stick’, head to areas, browse coffee shops, search for pet cafГ©s. In a nutshell, the options are endless.


Needless to say, an individual will be ‘going steady’, the cinema is crucial. Areas have also popped up to improve and diversify the feeling, with premium couple-seats being offered. Take pleasure in the connection with staring blankly at a display for 2 hours, peppered in some places with gruesome scenes that automatically hand-clutching that is prompt which offers her the reassurance that oppa has arrived.

Wedding Anniversaries

As the days slip by, you have to commemorate your time and effort together: seven days, 30 days, 100 times… Such milestones confirm the status that is healthy of and produce a feeling of accomplishment.

100th time current to gf. Information please

Day ^^“Please can someone advise me on what to offer my girlfriend for our 100th

We shall reach our 100 times together in a few days, but with only some times to spare, I’m beginning to be worried about what things to provide her .ㅜ.ㅡ Letters and plants would be the norm, however if there’s other things apart from that I’d appreciate some advice. Exactly just What do other dudes often give to their day that is 100th?? By the way, she’s 24”. Supply: Daum tip forum


Ideally earlier than later on, you will opt to be intimate. Don’t worry though. That’s all cared for also. Love motels provide an all-inclusive intercourse package, perhaps maybe not least the welcome pack containing condoms, lube, and desensitizing cream in the event you are extremely eager. No doubt, the savvy few will know which sites and apps to utilize for discount rates.

The Truth

My housemate is right. With all you need to easily do conveniently and presented for you, here really is not any reason never to date. (Love, but, is optional.) The pity to be branded a motaesollo — “a loner since conception” — is after all most useful prevented and exactly how easier to do this than by getting into a relationship? However in numerous instances, the thing I see is an expensive ritualised performance of courtship: a prescribed pair of inevitable events marching toward the goal that is ultimate wedding.

But until then, dating is anticipated if one really wants to avoid costs of impotence, deviance, or homosexuality. In reality, some gay South Korean friends turn to putting on a ‘couple ring’ at the job to imagine they have been right plus in a relationship, while they should really be. It really works like no bodies business, i will be told.

We sometimes have the South Korean dating scene is such as for instance a Petri meal: an synthetic environment containing most of the right nutritional elements to advertise the fast cultivation of partners. Valentine’s Day, White Day, Pepero Day, the 100-day anniversary… All are grotesque reminders of just just how relationship in Southern Korea is commodified relating to some ideal of Western middle-class romance, and repackaged into a kitschy item that is must-have.

When it comes to couple that is hopeless the restaurant, they truly are both ‘in need’ of a relationship — and status and normalcy it confers. So they really date one another out of convenience, expectation, and maybe — into the scenario that is best-case a way of measuring love. But regardless, surrounded by such pressures that are extreme conform to societal ‘norms’ and perform set functions, they turn society’s desires to their desires, in addition they continue steadily to agree with the consumerism of love.

Raphael Rashid authored this informative article.

To get more on dating tradition in Southern Korea, read: